Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Bar or Bat or Bet Mitzvah — becoming the age of majority in Judaism — occurs when a child turns 13 (or 12 for girls in more traditional communities) and is typically celebrated with Shabbat services, in which the child leads all or parts of the service. At CAA, we celebrate this milestone as a community along with friends and family from near and far.

The bat mitzvah (girl) or bar mitzvah (boy) or bet mitzvah (non-binary child) attends Religious School for years and then works with the rabbi and music director for months in advance in preparation. B’nai mitzvah (plural) lead services on Friday night and Saturday morning, chant verses of Torah directly from the Torah scroll, and teach the assembled congregation about the parasha (weekly Torah reading), using insights from classic texts and modern commentators, synthesized with their own thoughts. A luncheon is generally sponsored by the family and served in the social hall. Some families have other parties or events, as well.

On occasion, older adolescents or adults of any age also have a bar or bat or bet mitzvah ceremony. This can happen because they were unable to celebrate becoming of age when they were younger or they did not have a Jewish education until adulthood. CAA’s rabbi can help individual members plan an educational program and ceremony that fits their circumstances.

B’nai mitzvah celebrations are typically scheduled one to two years before the event in order to fit within the congregation’s calendar of events and so families can alert far-flung friends and relatives to save the date. Members with children should consult with the rabbi prior to their child turning 12.

The whole congregation is typically invited to the simcha (happy occasion) so that all can take pride in the accomplishments of the bar or bat or bet mitzvah. Relatives attending from a distance may stay in local hotels or enjoy home hospitality with friends or family.

Our office manager and families who have gone through the experience of arranging a bar/bar/bet mitzvah celebration are available to advise you about caterers, reserving blocks of rooms at hotels, ordering souvenir kippot or bentschers (song books for blessings after the meal), or other details. Celebrating a bar/bat/bet mitzvah need not be a major expense. In fact, the family having the simcha is encouraged to plan a festive celebration that fits their budget.